Coming Out & Identity Counseling

Gay-affirming therapy for LGBTQ+ people navigating coming‑out, internalized homophobia and identity confusion. EMDR • IFS • Brainspotting. In‑person in Draper, Utah and throughout Utah via telehealth.

Coming out is more than just a conversation; it is both an inward journey of self‑discovery and an outward process of self-expression.

Maybe you sensed from an early age that something about you did not match the labels you were given—or perhaps the realization surfaced only after years in a mixed‑orientation marriage, when a long‑suppressed part of you finally asked to be seen.

Coming out can swing between exhilaration at finally naming your truth and fear about how that truth will land with the people and institutions you care about. Families, faith communities, friend groups, or workplaces that declare queerness “wrong” can make each step feel like crossing a canyon on a tightrope.

Wherever you are right now—still whispering the words only to yourself, preparing what you’ll say to loved ones, or already living openly—I offer a dedicated space to explore, heal, and thrive.

David Matheson Counseling provides inclusive, trauma‑informed care for individuals struggling with the process of coming out. David is a licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor practicing in Draper, Utah. He also provides telehealth across Utah.

Is This Page Speaking to You?

If you are like the men and women I work with, you’ll probably connect with at least one of these:

  • You feel stuck between a deep desire to come out and a gripping fear of losing family, friends, or faith.

  • Messages of sinfulness, defectiveness, or not being “enough” still echo whenever you picture dating openly.

  • You are navigating a faith transition and worry that your new identity leaves you spiritually homeless.

  • You’ve tried to push your orientation aside, yet anxiety or depression keeps creeping back.

If any of these resonate, Coming‑Out & Identity‑Integration Counseling can help you transform confusion into clarity and secrecy into self‑leadership.

Solutions: Turning Pain into Progress

From Stuck and Scared to Self‑Led Clarity — Internal Family Systems
When a deep wish to come out collides with the terror of losing family, friends, or faith, we use Internal Family Systems (IFS) to work with the protective parts that shout “Stay hidden!” and the exiled parts still aching from rejection. By building Self‑energy (your calm, confident core) the inner system unburdens, giving you the courage and flexibility to choose each external step on your own timeline.

Rewriting Shame and Sin Narratives — EMDR
Whether from religion or family, messages of sinfulness or defectiveness can lodge in the nervous system like splinters. EMDR pinpoints pivotal memories—sermons, criticism, harsh discipline—and re‑processes them so the body releases their charge. Shame‑based core beliefs such as “I’m broken” transform into felt truths like “I am lovable and good.” As anxiety and shame ease, the path to coming out feels safer and more attainable.

Grieving Lost Faith and Community — IFS and EMDR
Leaving your religion—or even considering doing so—can stir up a storm of emotions. IFS lets fearful, grieving, and angry parts of you become unburdened, while EMDR drains the emotional charges from religious trauma, shame messages, and doctrinal threats of damnation. The process helps sorrow move, reshapes anger into protective strength, and builds confidence to create a new spiritual path or leave spirituality behind.

Unburdening Anxiety and Depression from Repressed Sexuality — IFS and EMDR
Years of repressing your sexual orientation can wire anxiety and depression into everyday life. IFS invites the protective parts that keep feelings bottled up to relax while exiled parts finally speak their pain. EMDR then re‑processes the memories that anchor shame, hiding, and helplessness. This integrative work can lead to greater internal acceptance and outward expression of your natural sexuality. 

Results You Can Expect

Therapy is not easy and it takes time. You and I both will have to really apply ourselves to the process. Through our combined effort, you can achieve:

  • Reduced anxiety, depression, and shame linked to internalized homophobia or religious trauma.

  • Greater ease in dating, intimacy, and community‑building without hiding parts of yourself.

  • Peaceful resolution of conflicts between spirituality and sexuality—whether that means reframing faith or finding a new spiritual home.

  • Healthier communication or compassionate separation pathways for mixed‑orientation couples.

Why Work With Me?

  • Lived experience and compassionate insight – I’ve walked a similar path and bring non‑judgmental understanding to every session.

  • Laser‑focused specialty – For nearly 30 years I have been working almost exclusively with gay men and lesbian women with an extremely wide variety of life circumstances and goals. This has providing me with unusual insight and clinical experience.

  • Flexible, secure access – I work with clients in‑person in Draper, Utah or through encrypted telehealth across Utah, including Salt Lake City, Provo, and rural areas.

Ready to Do You?

Taking the first step can feel daunting, but you deserve a life that fits you inside and out. Click below to schedule a free 20‑minute consult. We’ll discuss your hopes, answer questions, and map the path toward wholehearted living 

Inclusive therapist Draper | therapy for coming out | trauma‑informed LGBTQ counseling | best therapist for gay men & lesbian women | queer‑affirming psychotherapy

FAQs

  • No. You set the pace. My job is to equip you with skills, not dictate your timeline.

  • Yes. IFS and EMDR work at the memory‑network level, allowing adaptive beliefs to overwrite shame‑laden neural pathways, even after many years.

  • While you will be my client, I find it helpful on occasion to invite clients’ spouses for conjoint sessions. Meeting with the two of you together can provide insights I wouldn’t gain otherwise. It can also instill trust and safety for the spouse, provide a forum for each of you to safely communicate concerns and needs.

  • Absolutely. Integration doesn’t mean abandoning faith; it means aligning spirituality with authenticity. We will honor both.

  • I am a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor (CMHC) in Utah with a Master of Science in Counseling/Guidance (Clinical Track) from Brigham Young University. I am an EMDR Certified Therapist (Level 2), an Internal Family Systems‑informed practitioner, have advanced training in Brainspotting, and am a trauma‑informed therapist. More

  • I integrate EMDR to process trauma and install adaptive beliefs, Internal Family Systems (IFS) to harmonize inner parts and cultivate Self‑leadership, and Brainspotting to release somatic and emotional blocks. This combination offers a holistic, neuroscience‑supported pathway to authentic living.

Take the next step

In-person sessions in Draper, Utah and online via secure telehealth throughout Utah.

Schedule a free consultation.