Coming Out & Identity Counseling

Gay-affirming therapy for LGBTQ+ people navigating coming‑out, internalized homophobia and identity confusion. EMDR • IFS • Brainspotting. In‑person in Draper, Utah and throughout Utah via telehealth.

Coming out is more than a single conversation; it is an unfolding journey of self‑discovery, courage, and integration.

Maybe you have known you were different since childhood, or perhaps new feelings are emerging after years in a mixed‑orientation marriage. You might be excited one day and terrified the next—especially if your family, faith community, or workplace still sends the message that being queer is “wrong.”

Wherever you are on the timeline—from first whispers of self‑awareness to publicly living your truth—I offer a dedicated space to explore, heal, and thrive.

I’m David A. Matheson, MS, CMHC, a licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor providing inclusive, trauma‑informed care in Draper, Utah and via telehealth across Utah.

Is This Page Speaking to You?

If you are like the men and women I work with, you’ll probably connect with at least one of these:

  • You feel stuck between a deep desire to come out and a gripping fear of losing family, friends, or faith.

  • Messages of sinfulness, defectiveness, or not being “enough” still echo whenever you picture dating openly.

  • You are navigating a faith transition and worry that your new identity leaves you spiritually homeless.

  • A mixed‑orientation marriage or long‑term relationship feels increasingly painful, but you don’t know the next compassionate step.

  • You’ve tried to push your orientation aside, yet anxiety or depression keeps creeping back.

If any of these resonate, Coming‑Out & Identity‑Integration Counseling can help you transform confusion into clarity and secrecy into self‑leadership.

How My Three‑Part Approach Works

1. Internal Family Systems (IFS)

IFS views the psyche as a family of internal “parts.” We will:

  • Meet the protective parts that keep you closeted or compliant.

  • Listen to exiled parts carrying hurt from bullying, church discipline, or conversion‑therapy sermons.

  • Cultivate Self‑energy—a calm, confident core that can lead all parts toward integration.

2. EMDR for Religious & Relationship Trauma

Trauma isn’t always a single event; it can be years of micro‑rejections. EMDR targets those stored memories so that:

  • Shame‑based core beliefs lose their emotional intensity.

  • New, adaptive beliefs like “My orientation is worthy of love” install at a body‑felt level.

  • Flashbacks, nightmares, and panic diminish, freeing you to make values‑based choices.

3. Brainspotting for Somatic Release

Sometimes pain sits wordlessly in the body. With Brainspotting:

  • We find the eye position that accesses the “file” where distress is stored.

  • Your nervous system discharges held emotion—often faster than talk therapy alone.

  • Clients report profound relief after finally “feeling the feeling all the way through.”

These modalities weave together, giving you cognitive insight and nervous‑system recalibration—crucial when untangling years of internalized homophobia or spiritual abuse.

Results You Can Expect

Therapy is not easy and it takes time. You and I both will have to really apply ourselves to the process. Through our combined effort, you can achieve:

  • Reduced anxiety, depression, and shame linked to internalized homophobia or religious trauma.

  • Greater ease in dating, intimacy, and community‑building without hiding parts of yourself.

  • Peaceful resolution of conflicts between spirituality and sexuality—whether that means reframing faith or finding a new spiritual home.

  • Healthier communication or compassionate separation pathways for mixed‑orientation couples.

Why Work With Me?

  • Lived experience & compassionate insight – I’ve walked a similar path and bring non‑judgmental understanding to every session.

  • Laser‑focused specialty – I work exclusively with gay men, lesbian women, and queer adults, making sessions free from heteronormative explanations or microaggressions.

  • Flexible, secure access – I work with clients in‑person in Draper, Utah or through encrypted telehealth across Utah, including Salt Lake City, Provo, and rural areas.

  • Transparent fees & out‑of‑network support – I am in-network for certain insurance and I can provide superbills for out-of-network insurance reimbursement. HSA/FSA payments are also welcome.

Ready to Do You?

Taking the first step can feel daunting, but you deserve a life that fits you inside and out. Click below to schedule a free 20‑minute consult. We’ll discuss your hopes, answer questions, and map the path toward wholehearted living 

Inclusive therapist Draper | therapy for coming out | trauma‑informed LGBTQ counseling | best therapist for gay men & lesbian women | queer‑affirming psychotherapy

FAQs

  • No. You set the pace. My job is to equip you with skills, not dictate your timeline.

  • Yes. IFS and EMDR work at the memory‑network level, allowing adaptive beliefs to overwrite shame‑laden neural pathways, even after many years.

  • While you will be my client, I find it helpful on occasion to invite clients’ spouses for conjoint sessions. Meeting with the two of you together can provide insights I wouldn’t gain otherwise. It can also instill trust and safety for the spouse, provide a forum for each of you to safely communicate concerns and needs.

  • Absolutely. Integration doesn’t mean abandoning faith; it means aligning spirituality with authenticity. We will honor both.

  • I am a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor (CMHC) in Utah with a Master of Science in Counseling/Guidance (Clinical Track) from Brigham Young University. I am an EMDR Certified Therapist (Level 2), an Internal Family Systems‑informed practitioner, have advanced training in Brainspotting, and am a trauma‑informed therapist.

  • I integrate EMDR to process trauma and install adaptive beliefs, Internal Family Systems (IFS) to harmonize inner parts and cultivate Self‑leadership, and Brainspotting to release somatic and emotional blocks. This combination offers a holistic, neuroscience‑supported pathway to authentic living.

Take the next step

In-person sessions in Draper, Utah and online via secure telehealth throughout Utah.

Schedule a free consultation.