New Life, New Gay Counseling Practice

August 5, 2023

My life has changed radically over the past 6 years.

I completed my abandonment of conversion therapy in 2017. I left my mixed-orientation marriage at the end of 2018. I was outed by an associate in early 2019 and spent much of that year as an international spectacle, reacting to both praise and blistering condemnation. I spend about 3 years in a complicated relationship with a man, which was as joyous as it was traumatic. Then I discovered what it’s like to be in a gay relationship where things really work: romance, friendship, attachment, physical attraction and erotic desire; I feel a completeness of love for my partner now that I have never experienced before.

By sheer good fortune I connected with a world-renowned researcher on sexual diversity and became involved in her current ground-breaking research on trauma among Mormon and post-Mormon LGBTQ+ people. And perhaps most crucial—I’ve spent many hours in therapy healing from my own considerable trauma history and untangling my vast web of fragmented inner parts.

During all this time I essentially shuttered my psychotherapy practice. But now it’s time for me to return to the therapist chair. And here is what I bring with me.

I have a very clear understanding of the myth of conversion therapy and what it means to be a conversion therapy survivor—how it can seem to help certain people but goes very wrong for many others causing tremendous pain.

I understand the trauma, minority stress, hypervigilance and shame that gay and lesbian people live with every day.

I have a good sense of the complexities and pitfalls inherent in same-sex partnerships and how those can be worked through.

I am intimately familiar with the terrain that lesbian and gay people from high-demand religions (e.g., Mormons, Jews, Christians) must navigate with its guilt, shame, doubt, scrupulosity, anxiety, and depression. It is bewildering and can be life-destroying.

So here is my message: coming out and affirming yourself as a sexually diverse person is challenging for almost all LGBTQ+ people. But for some of us, this process becomes so mired in pain, confusion and complexity that we simply can’t make it through on our own. I encourage you to find a reputable therapist if you have experienced any of what I’ve described. I am accepting clients and would love to help.