Inclusion Feels Really Good

January 1, 2020

Last night I was at a bar in Salt Lake City watching my son play a gig there. I was with a guy—we were obviously a gay couple. We were sitting at a table watching while several fifty-something straight couples were dancing nearby. The guys looked like they were probably football jocks in high school. The women could have been cheerleaders. Handsome, straight, cisgender couples.

Then one of the women came directly over to us. “Come on you guys! Come dance.” “No, we’re fine watching,” we said. Then her super-stud husband came over, took my date and me by the hand, and pulled us out of our chairs. So we danced and it was tons of fun. When we later retreated to our chairs, the same woman again urged us back onto the dance floor. At some point, her husband gave me and my gay partner both high-fives. Later, another man did the same.

Yes, it was a little pushy. Yes, they were a little drunk. But to me it was a significant act of kindness. I actually experience this kind of thing pretty often. By their actions, these people are saying—sometimes shouting—"you are accepted. You belong.”

In this era of hyper-division and tribalism it’s important to notice with gratitude all the exceptions to that nasty trend. So, to those straight couples last night—and all the people in the world like them—THANK YOU! You’re what makes the world safer.